A Broken Man Cannot Be Broken...a new book

Click here to purchase

     Some publications are memoirs, some are narratives, some are fiction.  It is rare that a book of poetry resonates with my soul.  To touch the deepest parts of my self, the poetry of Eric Fischer, probes the issues of very extreme caregiving, of life with a severely disabled son who lives with Ohtahara Syndrome, of introspective views of other very medically compromised children, of living a worthy life and of death, a topic we all avoid.  

      Eric Fischer, whom I consider a dear friend, lives in Israel with his son Segev.  Caring for Segev, who is a very severely disabled 16 year old, has shaped his life and his view of reality and of the potential of human existence, the sheer pure dignity of life in the world of disability.

      This book of poetry which spans nearly 20 years of writing and reflection probes darkness, doubt, living a worthy life and death.  There is an absence of the superficial and the overwhelming presence of the depths of human experience and understanding.

      For all people, for parents who care intensely for severely disabled and medically fragile children, for those who face the death of their children at any moment, for those who confront the passage of parents, for those who struggle with these battles alone...this book of poetry is a MUST read for you.  You will be able to see the world of disability from a purer perspective and understand the human spirit confronting the unimaginable.  You MUST read this book of poetry...and read it slowly, read it as a daily meditation in your life.  You will leave having learned and experienced.

     It is an honor to call Eric a friend.  It has been an honor to read his collection of poetry and meditate on each piece.  It is a honor to reread the collection.  Of course, the book lives and embodies spirit and any profits contribute to Segev's care.  Please buy a copy of the book using the above link.

      Eric also blogs at: iamabrokenmanyoucantbreakme.blogspot.com/...another place to visit and absorb a real story of living a worthy life.

Little Job's Book of Broken Poems, Volume 2 by Eric Fischer

        My dear friend, Eric Fischer, has recently published his second volume of poetic reflections from the perspective of a primary caregiver of a severely disabled and certainly medically complex son,  Ohtahara Syndrome is a rare, debilitating disorder marked by epilepsy and numerous other medical complication.  Eric and his son Segev, reside in Israel.  He writes from the heart and soul and express the fullness of an unconditional love of an extreme caregiver.  Eric also blogs eloquently at  http://iamabrokenmanyoucantbreakme.blogspot.com/
         These poetic reflections express the soul of a father and his son in a thoroughly unique and insightful manner.  The book 1s available at amazon.com and also in a kindle format.  It is an absolutely must-read for parents coping with serious medically fragile and medically complex children.  Do not hesitate to order it for a moment, you will not regret.

Little Job's Book of Broken Poems, Volume 2 by Eric Fischer 
(click link above to purchase)

     Get's my highest recommendation!!!

Disability Identity: Good Intentions Gone Awry?

   
     There's much buzz in blogger-dom and other literary circles surrounding the notion of a disability identity.  Disability, whether mild or severe, is a simple fact of human existence.  Identity is a social, psychological, anthropological or other "oligical" construct.  Identity is a construct used to explain something which is unreal and fundamentally unexplainable, in other words, an anchor term of academicians and scholars.

       I am a man! I am gay! I am black or Latina!  I am a victim of abuse! I am a feminist! I am an alien! I am a  born-again Christian!  I am Jewish! I am a witch! I am a polygamist!  I am a dork!  I am disabled! I am fat and proud!  And what do these "I am" statements convey about identity (if identity is a true attempt to define the Self)...not much.  They classify, they categorize, they define which box to file the form into.  Fundamentally, group identities de-humanize and de-personalize.  A person is not what they possess, what group they belong to or what they believe. We should  not be a culture of tribal nations.  A person is not their sex or sexual orientation, their religion, their race, their nationality, their body type, their ability or their disability.

       I am the father of a quite disabled 25 year old son.  He can't speak, he has no effective way to communicate (despite all our efforts), he cannot intentionally move a muscle other than a head or an eye, he has to be fed and toileted...he, however, can smile at every face that approaches him.  He has physical  limitations of a pretty profound magnitude.  I speak for him....he does not question his identity, he does not categorize himself, he does not proudly wear the label of a word.  He is.......and he is happy!  What does this tell us?

       Oppression, "isms", prejudice, discrimination are the filth of the world which are pervasive illnesses borne of a perverted need for power and control.  There are few groups (I can't think of any quite yet) who are not disparaged by someone.  Power is displayed when you are better than someone, when you adopt a label so that you can belong to a group and the "herd" has power against the oppressor.  It doesn't matter which group, just be a member of a group.

 
      Perhaps the option which my son communicates to me is that he is ....  simply is, a human being.  As the radical Jesuit, Teilhard de Chardin,  repeatedly said, "We are all spiritual beings having a human experience."   Members of the human community are owed respect, kindness, human interaction, service, love and host of other things.  They are deserving of these because they are members of the whole, a cosmic, unrelenting interconnectedness. Some of us are here to experience masculinity or femininity, others being black, brown, yellow or white, others to experience Christianity or radical Islam, others abuse or being abusive,  others ability or total disability ....we are all experiencing so that we learn about the multifaceted aspects of our self, some would say soul.  Our experience is not limited to here and now, it will occur over and over...till we learn and can share in the larger evolution of consciousness.  Who is my son, Adam....I am!  Who am I...I am.  We have different experiences, but we answer the same question with the same answer.  I am....

      We refuse to be defined by a moment in time, by a particular life time, by any condition or life event in which we presently participate...  Although a too frequent an  occurrence, no one can or should attempt define anyone.  Everyone has a right to define themselves, but should they?  I have dignity because I am; I have pride because I am; I will not be dismissed because I am; I will not allow myself to be oppressed, because I am.  I am...makes me a meaningful part of every conceivable group, make me deserving of love and respect, makes me who I am!  While this dream may not reflect extant reality, my knowing that "I am" is all that matters in the very end.

POSTSCRIPT: Eric Fischer, whose blog is I am a broken man/You can't break me has developed a post which reviewed several bloggers posts on the concept of disability and identity.  His analysis and synthesis of ideas and his additional insights certainly bear a serious read.  Please click the above link to the blog post, you won't regret it!

Guest Post: Eric Fischer, A Response to Request for "Conversion Stories"

Eric Fischer

       In my last post, I inquired if readers had "conversion stories" that they would be willing to comment upon or share.  My friend, Eric Fischer, shared with me this comment which has taken the form of a guest post.  Eric lives in Haifa, Israel and has been a naturopathic practitioner since 1990, specializing in shiatsu and bio-ergonomics.  He is a totally committed caregiver to his beautiful son, Segev, who was born with Ohtahara Syndrome and a variety of other complicating conditions.  He exemplifies a very unique level of care-giving and demonstrates a deep level of understanding of the meaning of severe and complex disability. 
        Eric blogs at http://iamabrokenmanyoucantbreakme.blogspot.com/ and his posts about his life with Segev merit a serious visit.  Following his blog is an inspiration.  I am honored to share this guest post with all.


        When I was eighteen, long before becoming a therapist, I moved out of my parent’s home, leaving Holland and headed to Canada to study. On the way I stopped in England to visit friends of my parents and they took me out one night to friends of theirs.

        After greetings I was “automatically” escorted upstairs to their son’s room, which I found a bit strange, though he was my age. Apparently he didn’t, or wasn’t expected, to mingle and so there I stood in the entry, looking down at a disheveled 18 year old lying on his bed, watching television. He didn’t say anything, just nodded in my direction while not taking his eyes off of the tv, as though this was just another of many visits from an old chum.

       “You know”, he said after a minute, “I’ve shot a person.”

        Of course I was taken aback and thought firstly that he was simply trying to make an impression, or at least I wanted him to think that I thought that, so I responded with, “that’s quite a story.”

Apparently it worked because then he said, “well, what I mean is that I shot at him, but I didn’t hit anybody.”

That apparently that was all the introduction needed because after that we talked for about half an hour without the subject of the shooting or any other equally astounding act, making its appearance.

        We went downstairs at my suggestion and then came the really interesting part. As I said the young man was apparently not used to ‘mingling’ and it seemed that whatever the topic of discussion he would take an affront to it and react either angrily or dismissively. I intuitively felt that it wasn’t because he was in over his head but rather that he had taken a particular attitude and, with youthful vigor, was going to stick with it. I envisioned him rather like a captain going down with his ship.

       But then I spoke the words. I had never experienced words as having a really life-altering effect myself, though being enamored of words, honing their use, I always believed they could.

       What I said to him, spontaneously and interrupting the increasingly loud debate that he had drawn the other adults into with his abrasive and contradictory stance on each and every subject, was this: “You know”,  I said, “no one here is trying to hurt you.”

       There was silence from all parties until someone said that it was getting late and within five minutes the visit was over and we were on our way out.

       Many years passed. I was talking to that friend of my parents that I had visited in England and she, rather out of context said, “yes, so you see, sometimes people do really change, like John.”  I had no idea who or what she was talking about but upon inquiring she said, “Oh yes! What, you didn’t know? The very next day he went looking for a job, finished his exams, made a life for himself and he said it was all because of what you had said to him that night.”

       I’ve had other experiences like that one and I definitely have been gratified to see the right words at the right time can have such a strong effect.

       How does this relate to Phil’s question about influencing those around us to have an understanding for the needs generated by caring for a severely compromised human being? Because there can be little doubt, as Phil stated, in believing it to be a much simpler task to direct people’s inherent need for a organized system of belief.

       So I believe that we can act as a conduit, like an insulated wire transferring electricity, but, and here is the catch, I believe there has to be electricity to start with. You cannot be a conduit if there is nothing there to transfer.

       Furthermore I feel that it is people’s belief system that is the limiting factor. So does that mean that you must be young, open (and naïve?) in order to be subject to influence? If your belief system contains the frame of reference for caring for you fellow man then surely you will rise to the occasion, especially when asked, no?

No, not necessarily. Because the overwhelming majority of alliances in societal behavior exist between elements that share similarities.  Phil’s son Adam is an anomaly. He is frightening. Hell, I would be frightened to take care of him. I’d get over it because I believe we must overcome our fears, must strive beyond what is comfortable and known. 

       I know parents who have made decisions that led to the death of their severely compromised child. Some made the decision because they didn’t possess backgrounds which gave them tools to deal with such a difficult situation. Others did so with the belief that it was best for the child.

       No one is here to judge those decisions, only to try and understand them, in order to learn. From Phil’s point of view, the thought of having help offered is not merely a request for respite, but rather a call to the initiated to open themselves to a tremendous learning experience, even if just for a weekend. A sharing of the journey which, like the classic Greek tales, led a person ultimately to self-realization.

       The initiation though, and now I am particularly addressing Phil, took place a long time ago. Years before Adam was even born, when the experiences of people within hearing distance, formed their belief system. Intelligent people, Phil, caring people. But without the capacity to understand the connection.

So I go about looking, for people who are initiated, and when I find one, then and only then will I ask them because after all, he who has ears shall hear.

Segev Fischer