"Taking Mercy"....When Right is Wrong and Wrong is Right?

       I have carefully read many blogs lately which have unequivocally condemned parents who have killed their disabled children.  I have carefully read and reflected upon many blogs which have condemned the media for its emphasis on the lack of attention given to the children victims and the emphasis placed upon the "burden of disability" on the parent.  I have read many blogs written by people who have media reports as their only frame of reference, and many by people who have not experienced caring for non ambulatory, non verbal, medically compromised children.  I have read many blogs written by people who are long on condemnation and short on empathy and  very short on compassion.
        I believe that many issues in morality and ethics are black and white.  Rape is wrong, always.  Theft, when one is not on the brink of survival, is always wrong.  Murder, as revenge, as part of the commission of another crime, as rage, as jealousy, as punishment,  is always wrong.  There are many areas of human morality which are clouded by a karma which possibly can be mitigated.  Even grave karma, can possibly be mitigated.
        Today, I viewed a video about the beliefs of Robert Latimer and Annette Corriveau respecting the euthanasia or killing of their disabled children.  As the parent of a severely disabled child whom I have loving cared for since 1998, I wanted to condemn their actions and their beliefs.  I could not, but I could cry....many tears.

       Robert Latimer killed his daughter who had cerebral palsy, endured numerous operations and who could not tolerate pain relief medication because of contraindications with seizure medications.  Annette Corriveau wants to kill her two adult children who have San Filippo Syndrome.. I wanted  to condemn these parents because others would have me believe that their murder would devalue all disabled people, that their murder would reinforce the belief that some "life is not worthy of life."  I could not think in terms of right and wrong and black and white.  Annette Corriveau refused to discontinue life support (withdrawal of the feeding tubes)  because dying of an absence of hydration and nutrition was cruel and horrifically painful, she wanted them put to sleep.  I wanted to pull out my indignation and  religious morality (which I don't really have), my secular humanism (which I pride myself on) or my disability advocate "hat", but I could not.  I could only shed tears...

       Would their actions be misguided mercy killing, legalized assisted suicide (which I constantly rail against), euthanasia, genocide or plain murder?  Would the desire to end horrific and unmitigated suffering be an act of ultimate parental love?  I only have the raw emotion of tears and an absence of judgement!  I would pray never to face such a circumstance and then, whom am I to speak about the decisions of others?

       What I did see in watching the experience of these parents was a profound lack of affect.  I am sure that they have lived a thousand lives, have experienced a thousand thoughts and moments of introspection.  I am sure that their actions are thoroughly premeditated and consonant with their hearts and souls.  I believe that the absence of anguish and loss of affect indicates that they have metaphorically died long before their children.  After all, the spirit leaves long before the body ceases function.

       I am left wondering.  My wife and I have been able to leave a written "advanced directives" that no extra-ordinary  measures be taken to prolong our lives when our bodies are incapable of sustaining life.  The suddenly disabled, the progressively disabled, the born disabled have never had the option of  "advanced directives."  Who is it left to make the decision?

       I know very little.  I know that I cannot be outraged nor condemn these parents.  I know that I cannot judge.  I know that I am not a god.  I know that life is transitory and I know that most parents strive to love their children the best they can.  I know that human resilience is not infinite; it has its limitations.  I know that most people have a deep and abiding conscience.  I know that  the "book" speaks of not judging others, lest one be judged.  I know that my only reality is tears.....and you?