Does that question sound pedantic? Here I am again, stealing the blog away from the husband. (Ed. It's really ok!) He has writer’s block OR he is stuck in chronic sorrow (his new favorite topic) OR he has been working too hard – raking, trimming, hauling and helping clean the blocked septic system. At any rate, he gives me no static when I decide to write.
I went by myself yesterday to see the movie THE WAY with Martin Sheen and Emilio Estevez. The husband does NOT enjoy sitting in a movie theater (Ed. He has PTSD and ADHD and .....can't sit still and focus) and I like not being distracted by his sighs of boredom and discomfort (Ed. like when he keeps checking his cell phone for the time.). I can completely lose myself in a good movie, as well as a good book – love that feeling. I have been in a deep funk lately and I was not really looking for distraction or entertainment. I NEED to find my way out .
The movie was a gentle drama about a father who travels to St. Jean de Port in France to collect the remains of his son who was killed in the Pyrenees in a storm while walking the Camino de Santiago. Unfortunately, he and his only son had a cantankerous relationship, neither one able to appreciate the life of the other. When the father arrives he is given his son’s hiking equipment. He decides to embark on the pilgrimage to honor his son, spreading his ashes along the way. The father comes to understand and appreciate his deceased son’s life. The Camino de Santiago is an 800 mile trek from the Pyrenees to the Cathedral of Santiago de Compostela in Spain. People have been making this pilgrimage for a thousand years for religious, spiritual or cultural reasons.
I cried many times. I also laughed. Some people who view this film may be tempted to embark on their own pilgrimage. I was not tempted because I recognized the stark reality that I have chosen my own journey and I don’t need to walk those 800 miles. Ultimately, I will probably walk much farther and it will definitely take much longer than the two or three months most folks need to complete the Camino. The father discovers the difference between the life we live (when one goes through life blindly unaware of one’s actions and how these actions affect not only ourselves but others) or the life we choose.
Some may not view our life with Adam post – accident as a choice but it is. We choose to care for him at home. We choose to seek the best possible healing modalities. We chose to retire early and to live by the ocean . I don’t need churches or saints. Nature provides my access to the Divine, to the Source. We choose to work hard daily, always seeking to improve quality of life for ourselves and Adam.
Seeing this movie gave me a spark, a validation, a gracious reminder about the richness of a chosen life.
N.B. (Ed. are editorial comments by the blog owner....Phil and so called "the husband")
I love this -- you wrote it so well. Every now and then I will go to a class or talk -- usually by well-known Buddhist or mindfulness teachers -- and whenever I do so, I leave validated that much of how I live my life with my disabled daughter has been a choice, that I've somehow skipped the steps that most people must make and arrived somewhere without the physical effort. Do you know what I mean? I look forward to seeing this movie -- thank you for posting!
ReplyDeleteI recently saw the film (at home ofcourse, no opportunity to see it outside). Despite towards the end it having a heavy catholic overtone I enjoyed the film. I went on a pilgrimage like that for four months once in 1987, although it was with all manner of transport as well as an awful lot of trekking. Meeting others along the way was certainly the best part of the experience. In the film though it is Estevez, the son that says, "you don't choose a life, you live it". But I disagree with that statement. You can live the life you choose.
ReplyDeleteIn the end people who have the luxury of being honest with themselves, know that there are very few choices in life: it's almost as though life chooses you because you act out who you are, not what you want to be or what others perceive you to be. That honesty is the glue of the soul and when you come across another such person you can feel it. Some go on pilgrimages looking for it, looking for justification, for support. I truly believe the connection is there though, we just have to listen properly and stay true to the way: it may be desolate in some places but that makes your arrival only that much sweeter.
Sharon, beautiful post. I loved the ED comments too (Hi Phil x)
ReplyDeleteMy favourite part of your post was "Some people who view this film may be tempted to embark on their own pilgrimage. I was not tempted because I recognized the stark reality that I have chosen my own journey and I don’t need to walk those 800 miles."
Just love it! it's so true though.
and Eric, I really liked
"it's almost as though life chooses you because you act out who you are, not what you want to be or what others perceive you to be."
Love
Mel
x