Adam Dzialo

Adam Dzialo
Our son, Adam Dzialo, age 30

Monday, October 18, 2010

Wounded Healers....Parents and Caregivers of the Disabled

                                             A traumatic injury occurs at birth, or three years later, or twenty years later to your child...there is no magic formula which predicts what happens to you.  The reality of your child's trauma fills ever cell of your body; your soul is helpless; you make promises to always be there for him/her.  You are only as worthwhile as your word.
       A parent of a young or adult disabled child experiences every conceivable emotion.  You are at once hopeful, optimistic, caring and always looking for ways to heal.   At the same time, you are hyper vigilant, quite capable of catastrophic thinking, chronically anxious and always in fear of not being "safe."
This is the world of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).  In most cases, the trauma is focused on a single event (death),  or a series of similar events (war); in the case of parents of severely disabled children, the trauma is a continuing event.  It is not a past event which you can deal with in a number of therapeutic ways.
       So for parents of very disabled children, life is about survival...your survival and that of your son/daughter.  Life consists of avoiding everything which could impinge on that need to survive.  You do whatever it takes, at whatever expense.   There is no therapy nor medication to remove that survive and out of this quest you slowly thrive.  The road is dark, has many curves and the journey is always in the quest of the light...the quest does not end.


  1. Powerful post. The older Cj gets the harder it gets. The love we have for this child helps us go through the many dark curves we are now encountering and I know the quest will never end. Hopefully we will see the light some day in this journey as parents of a severely disabled child. I know this journey has made me a better person. Ryan is so great with all Cj's friends at school. He is very aware of children with any disability and so loving and kind.

  2. first a glimpse of the struck my heart-mind like the thunder it depicted....

    and then the words
    not "mere" words
    the utterance of truth
    in form

    a language of the soul

    what is remarkable
    is that is IS spoken, it is communicated, and the devastation did not crush your spirit

    It is this very power
    and revitalizes
    in the face of the impossible

    my deepest thanks

  3. What techniques have you used to deal with PTSD that you useful?
    What ones were not ?
    ANy books or references...
    Love to hear more about your experience in dealing with PTSD on a daily and therapeutic level

  4. Will post a blog section on our toolbox of "strategies" upon return from Montreal ABR near the middle of next week. It's a tough question.

    Phil Dzialo

  5. Thankful for twitter because it led me to your inspirational website. God bless your family and your son.

  6. Thanks Robyn, as your comment has led me to your site, will definitively follow!! Warmest regards....


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