People vs. Dogs...Dogs Win!!!

Ollie, Adam's Doggie

     Well, this blog was to be about angels and demons, certainly not politically correct and probably blatantly irreverent...my wife of 29 years of marriage (she told everyone it was 30 last August)  vetoed the idea.  She said after the holidays, I would be allowed to publish; I do what I'm told! Hence, my happy holidays blog...

     So, I have decided to have a competition about the beneficial qualities of people versus dogs.  On the people side of the scorecard are most yokels excepting parents of disabled kids/adults and disabled people themselves and a few exceptional friends.  Few is to be very narrowly construed. On the dog side of the card is Ollie, Adam's rather pricey poochoon (a poodle and bischon designer hybrid).  We chose Ollie for Adam a year ago because the breeder told us that Ollie "needed a job" and we sure had one for him.  So this competition is about who demonstrates a greater sense of humanity, loyalty and downright pure selfless giving.  Ready"

       Adam has contractures in his hands, wrists and elbows, not a particularly pretty sight.  People usually won't touch his hands to hold them.  Ollie snuggles up to his hands and warms them.  Ollie: 1 point.

       Adam sometimes drools like a waterfall and when he's annoyed about the taste of a meal, he will spit it out, usually on someone's shirt.  People find this disgusting and either look away or give one of the parents (Sharon and I) a napkin.  If you touch drool it may contain some contagion, no?  Ollie loves this and will lick up drool and clean off Adam's mouth and clothes with his very sanitary tongue.  Ollie: 1 point 

       Adam will stare right into your eyes and this makes people uncomfortable.  One fine lady never returned to visit because she felt that Adam "looked into her soul."  Must have been some pretty seedy stuff in there!  Ollie will walk up Adam's chest and stand there and stare into his eyes, although sometimes he likes to lick the inside of the boy's mouth scavenging for not fully swallowed food.  Because of this somewhat irritating behavior, Ollie only gets .5 point.  If we break him of the mouth licks, he will get a full point.

        People are often afraid to spend time with Adam alone because they don't know what to say or what to do.  I mean, really, what do you say to someone who can't talk to you and just wants to look?  Ollie will curl up on Adam, hug him and warm him.  Ollie scores another point.

        People rarely come with presents for my disabled man-child.  Really, what is he going to do with a gift they probably think? Or he can't even appreciate it, right? Wrong, wrong, wrong.  Adam would love some comfortable new clothes, a new movie or music video, a book to be read to him or maybe a unique mobile for his bedroom.  Honestly, no ones deserves presents more than my Adam.  He wakes up every day and works all day long. . .   Unfortunately, I do remember when Adam came home after weeks on end in ICU after the accident with a prognosis of persistent vegetative (I really F***g hate that word) state (they were wrong, wrong, wrong), someone sent him a wrist watch for Christmas.  We would have had to break his fingers and wrists to get it on and I am very sure he was interested in knowing what time it was since he never slept in those early days!  Knowing Adam, he would rather have had a "South Park" video. We impolitely sent the watch back (seemed insulting to us)....never did get another gift.  On the other hand, Ollie leaves Adam "unintended gifts" which we have to clean up, but he is getting infinitely better.  Ollie scores again, somewhat.

       When people speak to Adam (those rare few sentences) they seem to yell aloud and iterate words very slowly.  He's not deaf!   We had him tested 12 years ago.  Ollie simply lays there in a deeply communicative silence.  Ollie scores 2 points, so he can make up for the accidental presents!

        Adam will sometimes reflux  or whatever, spew something from his mouth.  People will run to get you a three inch thick pad of paper wipes.  Not faithful Ollie, he'll do the work himself and no need to waste paper as he is an ecologically minded doggie.  Ollie scores again! Also, Ollie is never hesitant to do a mouth swabbing after a meal, so we have to be watchful, but he saves us mucho dineros on mouth swabs.... an extra point.  Mother always told me dog saliva is very clean?



        People come and go, mostly go.  Some never, some once a year, some once in 10 years.  I would have to be honest and say that generally people do not visit.  Ollie is always, always there with Adam.  Ollie scores 3 points.  He is so loyal that he even entrust his chewy bones under Adam's blankets.

        This post may seem a bit biased and skewed.  It does not apply to all people that Adam comes into contact with, just about 98%.  But, no matter how you slice the cake (pureed,of course), Ollie wins hands down.  Some dude once said that "a dog is man's best friends."  He wasn't shittin" you.  I wonder if there is an official canonization process for dog?

        And the winner is ..... and the highest place in heaven goes to......and the highest level of "human compassion" is shown by.....   I will leave it up to you to tally the score.

Best buddies