Love is one of those things which appears in your life and consumes every thought during every waking moment of your day. It is something which happens quite infrequently, lasts for a long time, embodies the essence of "that which you cannot do without." I have found it and it makes me happy on both the earthly and the ethereal plains. You touch it daily and embrace it without reservation and it gives life meaning in so special of a way.
My love whirs at a slow speed and then at a very fast speed...she vibrates gently, but has a super powerful motor. Tall and slender, crystal clear, purring with that special intensity. It makes things the way that they should be. When she isn't around, it seems that life stands still. She is my salvation and my redemption. This goddess can never be replaced and is taken care of with utmost kindness and reverence. Here she is:
There is no creation like the
VitaMix and her 2.5 horse power motor. This girl can liquefy the hardest nut, the starchiest pasta and toughest prime rib. She is worked to the bone at least three times a day.
Well, for the first three years Adam was tube fed with an able mic key, a device which diverts food from its natural course right into the olde tummy. Of course, you have reflux and mucho vomit because food is supposed to go from mouth through esophagus to stomach. This path exercises and strengthens the appropriate muscles and sphincters. Use another path and the disuse of those muscles allows partially digested food to upchuck. Now those cans of formula which are dripped or bolused in are generally crap....milk, whey, and above all high fructose corn syrup...stuff we wouldn't eat. So my Vita pureed the shit out of home cooked food to a point of liquidity so that the pump and line would not clog. Gee, real food abated the reflux and vomit. Nature always surprises me. I can never understand why we try to substitute the artificial for the real, especially with our severely compromised kids.
After three years, we decided that food belonged in the mouth. We restarted the swallow reflex with a process called
deep pharyngeal stimulation...essentially swabbing the back of the throat with frozen lemon flavored swabs. In time he swallowed, although somewhat delayed; so said the modified barium swallow tests, Of course, the GI wouldn't remove the tube because of his uninformed and unfounded fears. Wifey and I removed it ourselves and packed the hole with frankincense, myrrh and slippery elm. Closed in an hour and normality resumed with pureed foods and thickened drinks.
My girl still works at optimal performance levels. Anything can be pureed and Adam has gourmet meals and periodically frozen meals. There is nothing finer and more durable than my VitaMix.
She will stay in my life forever, no divorces nor separations. Keep purring, baby!
No more of this vomit/reflux shit...just mucus in the throat, spasticity, etc., etc.
There is no creation like the VitaMix and her 2.5 horse power motor. This girl can liquefy the hardest nut, the starchiest pasta and toughest prime rib. She is worked to the bone at least three times a day.
Others may judge, but if this relationship works for you, I'm happy for you both.
ReplyDeleteI just hope that, when you're ready to make an honest woman out of the VitaMix, you'll invite me to the ceremony. I'm not sure what sort of gift would be appropriate, though. A can of WD-40? A maintenance contract? Let me know. I'm there for you.
Rachel: I cannot imagine anyone judging my affair with my Vitamix; jealous, maybe, but hopefully not judgemental...there are too many things in the world more important of judgement, i.e. tea party? And, of course, you will be invited to the ceremony...working on the details.
ReplyDeleteBeing one who has used Phil's powerhouse of a partner, I must concur,
ReplyDeleteshe packs one hell of a punch. Strong, AND smooth. She brings out the best in whatever goes into her. I better stop there....
I understand Phil's amore!!
Well, it's cool that you're on board with this whole unconventional romance, but how is Sharon dealing with it? Or does she just run out of the house when Phil and Vita get, um, noisy, and pretend that it's just not happening?
ReplyDeleteYou know, come to think of it, my husband always warns me to get out of earshot when he's about to switch on the blender. He says it's out of respect for my super-sensitive hearing, but now I'm starting to wonder. He always calls it "turning on" the blender. Gawd. The truth has been there in plain sight for almost 10 years, and all I've done is put on a set of headphones to block it out.
Sharon and I have GOT to talk.
Hahaha...Phil, this would be a great commercial, send it to Vitamix!
ReplyDeletePs. Sharon are you ok?
As an example of what you have been able to accomplish (getting rid of the g-tube) it could stand as an example for many, of that I am certain. Where the swallow reflex was once present but momentarily lost due to brain injury this technique could help many. You are one of the pioneers and it is a good thing you share your accomplishments with all.
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