Friday, January 7, 2011
Opening Pandora's Box...
In ancient Greek mythology, Pandora, the first woman on earth, was given a jar which was not to be opened under any circumstance. Well, Pandora, much like the biblical Eve who ate the forbidden fruit provided by the friendly snake, opened the jar which supposedly released all the types of evil on the world, except Hope which was still trapped inside. Could this be the explanation why most bloggers are women who do what they aren't supposed to and challenge mankind to think and reflect? Regardless of this sexist innuendo, I am ready to open Pandora's mythical box or perhaps take a bite out of the forbidden fruit.
The opening of the jar releases my greatest fear and perhaps the greatest fear of all parents of quite severely disabled children: when I pass on, check out, am gone, sealed in a water-tight coffin or reduced to ashes with my urn placed on someones mantle, who will take the same dedicated, loving care of my child. Given our belief in caring full time for our son, in our home, and given the ever growing repertoire of therapies, the probably of Adam outliving us all is extremely high. Despite the severity of his injuries, his need for 24 hour a day care and his aesthetically imperfect hands and feet, all body systems are pretty operational and his spiritual system optimal. With loving care, his life expectancy far surpasses ours.
Of course, our daughter is charged with the supervision and execution of his care plan and well-being when we are dust. Of course, he will be cared for in our home. Of course, I can never guarantee the level of dedication and commitment that parents provide. So this is the fear which has erupted from the opened jar. Unfortunately, we all have to take a bite out of that damn apple and release this plague,.
One not so amazing observation is that no one has ever said, "If something ever happened to you and Sharon, we would be honored to step in and care for Adam, for however long it takes." The issue is not money for his care, in our case, as we have taken care of that; the issue is compassionate, consistent, loving care. I often ask where is that saint that will step up to the plate and make an offering...probably won't happen!
So, all you can do is live in the very present moment, give your utmost and trust in the universe to provide as it always has. Opening the jar, biting the fruit...you can never really stuff that dread back into the jar or make believe like you haven't tasted the apple. At least, Pandora didn't let hope escape!