looking for CONVERSION STORIES.....

       We bloggers, who have compromised and disabled sons and daughters, write for a variety of reasons: some conscious others unconscious.  We hope to share our stories, our commitments, our joys and our moments of exasperation with whomever will listen.  We hope to inspire newbies to the world of disability and to learn from the loving care-giver pros.  We hope to engender an understanding of the human face behind disability and the indomitable spirit of the disabled.  We confront those who ignore, abuse or are indifferent to our disabled children.  We write to preserve a semblance of sanity for ourselves and self-imposed respite.  Some blog for the pure joy of writing. These are all conscious acts.  There are many other reasons.

   
        We write on another, perhaps less conscious level, and I could be wrong and only represent myself.  I believe that some of us (me) attempt to convert, to educate and evangelize.  We become missionaries not of religion but of disability, a church we worship in.  Too often, however, we find ourselves unsatisfied and we readily acknowledge that we are "preaching to the choir"; evangelizing the saved.  Those who we hope to reach have long passed consciously into the state of being unconscious. They have become unavailable for baptism or initiation.  The question always remains:  is it ever possible to change the heart of those who should deeply care, but do not?  Is it possible to bring friends into the lives of our children?  Is it possible to move a person from a position of being uncomfortable with our children to embracing them wholeHEARTedly?  Selfishly, I wonder why people never offer to care for Adam for a weekend so Sharon and I could get away?  I mean people all know we have never had a vacation without the boy for 13 years!  No pity, just wondering....

   
        I am ready to believe that I could convert masses to Christianity, or Islam, or Judaism, or even Wicca or even atheism more readily than I could convert a person to care about Adam (and the many other Adam's)  and embrace him in a human, loving, concrete way.  I have been unable to convert fear into open arms, to convert staying away to being present, to convert ..... in anyway.  Gentleness, patience, guilt, morality, education, family duty, a willingness to teach and explain have not worked.  Asking directly has never worked.  My batting average is .000 and that would get me thrown off the team.
   
      I would absolutely love to know and read stories where change of attitude and action was really affected. I have heard, at funerals of very compromised children, close family and friends stand and wail and bemoan their lack of presence because there was so much to learn from these kids, a missed opportunity...a tad bit too late.  Regret at the gate of the crematorium is lacking and empty, but perhaps self-satisfying.

   
  If you have affected significant change in a person through words, writing, mentoring or any other medium, please share.  I would love to know how it was done, how it affected you life, how it affected the other person's life.  Comments, guest blogs, anything on this subject are so welcome.  I know that many of us would like to learn about the keys to the kingdom.

Just wonderin', that's all............"They shoot horses, don't they?"